A fellow D-Mom (Mom of a diabetic child) posted this on her Facebook page and by the end of it, I was in tears. I just wanted to share it here on my blog. I’m not sure of the original source, but if someone knows, I’d love to post the link.
- UPDATE: SOURCE
“She walks down the hallway in silence so deep, Keeping watch over her, as her little one sleeps. With meter in hand, she opens the door, Making sure not to wake her as she crosses the floor. She sits on her bedside and brushes her hair, As her child dreams of playing, without a “D” care. She holds her hand softly, her fingers so small, As she watches and wonders why “D” came to call. While she watches her sleeping, so peaceful and warm, The forces inside her fight a constant “D” storm. Will she ever be free of shot and blood testing? She sits and she wonders as she watches her resting. The beep of the meter breaks the silence of the night, A small drop of blood tells if everything’s right. The seconds count down to the final display, I hate this darn meter, I want to throw it away. The number is fine, one down, a lifetime to go, As she turns in her sleep, will she ever know? Why does this “D” happen to someone so small? Her daughter, her hero, but her baby most of all. She turns at her doorway, looking back one more time, It’s a nightly routine of the very worst kind. She walks down the hallway and time passes by, As she sits in the dark silence and quietly cries. I have to stay strong, and for her I will fight, We’ll battle this “D” with all of our might. I’ll teach her to master and conquer this foe, This “D” will not stop her, I promise her so.”
The nighttime is the hardest for me. I think it’s the darkness and stillness of the night, combined with the fear of my daughter’s blood sugar going so low that she never wakes up. What a horrible thing to wonder when you put your sweet child to bed. I do a lot of praying at night. Praying for strength. Praying for God’s protection over her. Praying for the anger I sometimes feel to subside. Praying for a cure. But most importantly, just praying so that I feel peace and God’s presence near me. My heart is broken a bit and I can feel that brokenness more at night.
Ultimately I know that God is in control and He will get us through those nights, one night at a time. Over a year later, it’s still hard. Not AS hard, but hard, nonetheless. Thankfully though, God’s mercy is new every morning. The sun comes up and life goes on. And oh what a blessed life it is, despite the trials that diabetes brings along. Life may be full of uncertainties at times, but the one thing I do know for certain is that this life is worth getting through those hard nights.
- If you’d like to make a donation in honor of Caylin, you can check out the fundraiser I set up in honor of my daughter to raise funds to find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes. You can go HERE to check it out. Thank you.
